Yes it's late.

.....and headed into the weekend. I waited to post this blog on purpose.

I am gaining some of the best traction in my life. I am. But if you think that that means it's easy, you need to stop thinking. This is, and has been the most difficult time period in my life. It's a transition, yes, but that doesn't mean it's easy. For years, everyone I can think of has told me that things will get better. They don't. For years people told me God cares, or they loved me. He doesn't care (because it isn't his responsibility), and people can only love to the extent that they know love (or themselves, and usually those that love them selves are not very loving, in general).

I have been accused of having it easy, and being happy (as if that should be accusatory at all), looking happy, and everything else, while being thrown under the bus and reminded and reprehended for past transgressions and failures. You have to live past that (ironic). You have to get through that and see who you really are. 

I went to a birthday party for a dear friend tonight. I don't get invited out a lot (despite what people think), and I got to see an old friend from High School, and that was good as well. What really worked tonight was (what I felt) solidifying a friendship with a high school friend and her husband. I have a roommate and best friend, and don't get me wrong she is awesome, but you need more than one person in your life. 

Sure as I go threw everyday, and every night, I battle feelings and thoughts of failure and regret; fear and judgement. They may not be evident, but they are there. I don't feel I am any different than any other human, and I have learned that anyone that can feel their feelings, has the same things going on that I do. 

In baseball, every one knows that there is a time period when you start to get on a hot streak. That is true, and the baseball looks like the size of a beach ball; yes! But guess what? Odds are that hot streak was preempted by a cold streak. Depending on the severity; one in which many "bandwagon fans" may have jumped off, and depending on the length or the time frame, he may have been traded to different teams even. You know what though? None of that matters, because that individual is now on a hot streak. This cold streak is coming to a close. All those who witnessed it, gave up on it, or otherwise, just watch! Those who kept believing, just watch! Those who are instigating and instructing it, just watch! 

Get your den in order, so that when the opportunity comes, you can hit the sweet spot over and over again!